Goodbye Mr Pops

The last few months have been extremely hard for our family. While it may appear that we're always up to something fun, the smiles you see hide much sadness.

One month ago today our lives changed completely when we lost our unborn baby girl, Mr Pops. I was 24 weeks pregnant.

At my 20 week scan back in May we received the bad news that our tiny baby was just that; tiny. Too tiny. The placenta had not formed properly and she was not able to get the nutrients she needed to grow. Many tests were carried out to find the cause, followed by an agonising three week wait for a follow up scan to check on her growth.

During this time I had been hopeful that she had picked up growth as my belly had grown substantially, however at my 23 week scan we received worse news. She was now further behind in her growth than she had been at 20 weeks. The flow from the placenta had slowed and it was only a matter of time before it stopped feeding her altogether. Our only chance was to deliver early within the following week or so.

24 weeks is generally the earliest that doctors can successfully deliver a baby. Unfortunately Mr Pops was so much smaller than the average baby. At 23 weeks she weighed only 11 ounces (approximately 320 grams). The average baby at 23 weeks weighs 1.5 pounds (approximately 680 grams). Being less than half the size she was supposed to be, her odds of survival were very slim.

Unfortunately on 17th June Mr Pops slipped away and our world came crashing down.

It's been a very hard time for us all, especially being so far away from our families and friends, but we've been trying our best to focus on the positives in our lives. We know how lucky we are that we already have two beautiful, healthy girls. While we were so excited at the prospect of giving them a new little sister it just wasn't meant to be this time.

As Ava is on Summer vacation we've been trying to keep her and Lola busy with fun activities and day trips. While it hasn't always been easy this has been a great distraction for us all. There are days when I just feel like curling up in bed all day and not moving, however I know that it's not going to help. No amount of moping will bring our little baby back. Staying positive and looking toward the future is best for us all.

With every day that passes it gets a little easier but I know that the pain will never go away.

Thank you to our families and friends for all their love, support, kind words, hugs, help and for just being there for us during this difficult time. Just knowing that so many people care about us has been a great help.

Goodbye Mr Pops. You may not be with us any more but you'll always be in our hearts.